The Door

Looking into tomorrow
is a passage to glory
a slight crack
and the light spills in
Shining brightly
it refreshes my spirit
I step closer longing to be brave
Hesitating, fingers trembling
Aching to swing the door
wide open with a crash
But only pausing to stare
to gather my wits.
Consequences flash
Before me
changing me and my soul
Looking back I see the comfort of yesterday
and the pain that it holds. 
I slowly move
and reach out my hand
grasping the dark wood
And with all the courage
and desire within me
I glide through the door
into my future

I Watched

Last night I watched my daughter sleeping

Her mouth was curved in a soft smile

I hoped she was dreaming about bike rides and sand castles

And grape popsicles dripping down her arms.

This morning I watched my daughter playing

She concentrated hard on coloring a yellow boat.

She sang a complex song that had no words

But seemed to have meaning for her.

This afternoon I watched my daughter crying.

She threw her head back in anguish

As the tears flew from her eyes.

She stopped when I let her watch Barney.

This evening I watched my daughter with her Father.

They were snuggled together reading books about teddy bears.

They looked so safe and peaceful in the soft lamplight.

I just sat and watched filled with happiness.

8-10-97

Shy

Contentment stems from apathy, and it stirs my soul into action.

I want to fight out against all the rules, yet I hide behind my fears

By letting go, I may start to live, or I may lose everything.

Everything means nothing when living hasn’t happened.

I startle at the memories that I‘ve never had before

I want to find these snapshots and hold them

Until they burn up with the scent of desire.

Something holds me back from life, I cringe from the edge.

But I can see the colors and feel the noise.

6-14-97

The Angel

Yesterday an angel kissed me

But I didnt know his name

Today I cant remember much

I ll never be the same.

Tomorrow I hope he comes to visit

I ll smile at him so wide

I know this angel has a gift

And fills me with love inside.

Yesterday an angel kissed me

And left me by the road

I walked until I lost my way

The dark became so cold.

I ve wondered many times since then

Will I ever get home?

I don t know where that is just yet

But I know I m not alone.

6-12-97

Summer Stars

Mirrored through the trees

Dancing in their eternal light.

Cicadas cackle, calling endlessly

Laughing with delight.

Warm breezes

Massage away the heat of anxieties

And the moon

Looks down on me and my dreams

Guiding the way

Through the clear September night.

8/31/93

The Edge

A shadow winks by, and I can't grasp on to it.

Only in my dreams can I see

A pattern that evolves

But my hands are smoky

And I lose control.

Once I had a reality

But I let it fade into eternity

I don't care much except on rainy days

When my vision blurs

And my dancing shoes get soaked.

4/27/94

The Black Line

Sometimes along the Black Line

A flower will grow

And no one will know why

Or how to make it go

Sometimes I laugh

When I know I should cry

Get under the covers

Or learn how to fly.

Sometimes is now

And the noise is all around

You may see me scream

But I won't make a sound.

6/25/94

The Tree

Such is life they said to me

when i saw my family tree

how can i be from such a brood

brought up in that neighborhood

they are such giants, in their way

they all know how to work and play

within the rules they dare to roam

maybe that's why i cant go home.

6/25/94

Husband

I have a friend who is my own

Who stays with me when i feel alone

He laughs at me when i feel funny

And comforts me when my nose is runny

He buys me things to make me smile

And after dinner we walk awhile

I have a friend there is no other

Because, you see, i married my lover.

6/25/94

The Old Soldier

Photographs taken in shadows of gray

Hope stirs for the future in the patterns of the past

A line of love and deceit reckon from the roots

Pride and purpose are nothing compared to this

It's a lesson in a dream, a sacrifice of the soul

And always an Honor.

~~~

Sometimes when the black hole deepens

And there isn't a lifejacket in sight

I reach for this picture, if only to capture the memory.

4-11-95

 The Swing

What if we stole away

So they could never find us out

Would we need to come home in the end

How many times have you whispered to me

Knowing I couldn’t hear you

Should I have laughed louder, until I cried

When did you steal my soul

By taking it into your arms

Could I have stopped the fire

Where will we be years from now

Loving as we do

I think we will go on forever.

Pulling you away

Sending me back to the swing

I’m falling into you

And I don’t feel a thing

When I saw you walking yesterday

The laughter caught my ears

I knew I shouldn’t smile

Even through my tears

When all was good and fine in my world

I knew it wouldn’t last

But how could I know that sad look

Would rise up from your past

Pulling you away

Sending me back to the swing

I’m falling into you

And I don’t feel a thing

The Old City

A million voices raised in harmony

Remembering past triumphs and terrors

Now long forgotten

But eternally whispered in the door ways

Moaning through the alleys of time.

Twilight descends around the corners

Of the Old City’s walls

Softening her blemishes of a forgotten age

Hushing the movement

Of a thousand heartbeats

Spreading a blanket of serenity

Throughout the endless night.